Again offering profuse apologies for a lack of updating. This has been the craziest three months (much less craziest summer) of my life. I hate having regrets.

User-friendly update:

Marathon: hard, hilly, wet, muddy, amazing
Time: 5 and 1/2 hours
Alaska: farther away than you think (seriously, look in your atlas); mountainous, pure, breathtaking; caught a 45 in. 50 lb King Salmon (harder to reel in than running a marathon), saw 5 whales and numerous adorable Arctic-dwelling animals; halibut is delicious.
Bronson: done working there since I'm off to school; missing it (and my co-workers) tremendously, but relief from all of the sad traumas this summer has relaxed me a little.
Plainwell: colorguard is in full swing; I love the girls and I love having it as a creative outlet; struggling with my leadership style, but the girls are getting on board and I think we are on our way to wonderful success this season
Friends: i will miss them SO MUCH
Ann Arbor: moving maybe Aug 27? will be in and out that whole week. thrilled and terrified.
Independence: trying to find it.
September's "National Geographic": all about Africa. check it out.

What is the force that binds the stars?
I wore this mask to hide my scars
What is the power that pulls the tide?
Never could find a place to hide
What moves the earth around the sun?
What could I do but run and run and run?
Afraid to love, afraid to fail
A mast without a sail

Yikes! Its been nearly a month since my last entry. I really need to post more often so that the idea of an update isn't so overwhelming as I think about all that I could say.

 May has been an interesting month. Somehow simultaneously unsettling and peaceful. I have run a few races since my last post. On April 30, Dieneke and I completed the Borgess 1/2 Marathon without any stops! We were so proud, and it was an AMAZING feeling. Indescribable. I had major goosebumps as I crossed the finish line...I just absolutely couldn't believe what I had just done. 2 weeks later, Dieneke and I headed up to Grand Rapids for the 15.5 mile River Bank Run. It was pouring rain when the race started, so we were soaked to the bone before we even took a step; I could already tell it was going to be a challenging day. I paced myself well and kept up 10-minute miles until I reached mile 10, at which point my body decided the best thing to do would be to throw up everything in my stomach about 5 times. I had to pull myself out of the race at that point, because my body was obviously sending me a message, and I knew it wouldn't be smart to try and finish the race after losing all the hydration and nourishment of the last several hours. It was an incredible disappointment, and hard to even describe. As I waited for Dieneke to finish (which she did! she made great time, too), I called my dad crying and he just reminded me that it was the best that I had to give on that particular day and I should be proud of it. I'm not sure if I'm proud, but I accept it. 

 The fundraising has been amazing! Only $263 dollars left to raise by Tuesday, May 31! I'm thrilled. The charity work behind my training has been the biggest motivating factor imaginable; I believe in this cause with all of my heart.

Another fun fact: I am way into Gavin DeGraw right now. SUCH a great musician guys. Beautiful songs, lyrics, everything. My friend Caitlin from work took me to one of his concerts earlier this month and we had a ball. It was a small venue so Gavin was right there, and we got to meet him afterwards and stuff. It was such a blast, and important to Caitlin because she listened to his music to keep her spirits up while she was going through chemotherapy; so, she got her moment to tell him what his music meant to her, and he was awesome about it.

 I had orientation at U of M on Thursday, and I couldn't get the smile off of my face all day. I must have looked like such an idiot. I felt so happy and at home there, and I am tremendously looking forward to the challenges and opportunities that await me. My academic advisor encouraged me to begin researching medical schools and looking into MCAT preparation and testing. (The MCAT is the medical school entrace exam...similar to the LSATs and GMATs for other professions). I can't tell you how exciting it is to feel like medical school is this close. I am so grateful that I listened to myself and made the decision to move, because even in that one day in Ann Arbor, everything clicked.

So much more to say, but no way to say it. And maybe I wouldn't say it even if I found the words. So here's to the unspeakable thoughts and emotions waiting to be understood and expressed.

It's so nice to see you
Can we sit and talk for a while?
I have searched forever
I can't imagine anything better
Kids upon the stairway
Couples in the sidewalk squares
If I get to your heart soon
I'll call a perfect afternoon

Deep exhale. What a week and a half. The day after my last post, life became a whirlwind for a short time as my family and loved ones and I coped with the loss of a wonderful man by the name of Leslie R. Brantingham. He was simply known to me, Kyle, Kate, Matthew, Codi & Keegan as "Grampa." He actually was Codi & Keegan's, but he played the role for the rest of us for the last 10 years. His loss was sudden but peaceful, overwhelming but accepted. To me, his death symbolized the end of a wonderful part of our lives. The summers of yardwork and letter-stuffing, the lazy days and all the childhood memories and traditions that circled so much around Grampa and the Thompson family. We are older now, and we have responsibilities and jobs and independence. I wasn't ready to shut that door yet, but its closed and locked and now we must deal with it. I was happy to ignore my own emotions for a while by being put to work at Grampa's house on Saturday, setting up and cleaning up a group meal for the family during a break between visitations. It was a special time for them to sit around and laugh and chat right in Grampa's own house, and I was so glad to have been able to make it a less stressful time for them. The funeral itself was the most touching I've ever been to. It was purely Grampa, and he was absolutely with us. Codi and Keegan gave beautiful speeches, and we all got emotional just looking and listening to how grown up those kids are. The last 10 years have flown by. Bagpipes play "Amazing Grace" and its over, and he's gone.

I have spent the rest of my time working, training, and taking care of myself and my body as best I can. I only have a little over $700 left to raise by the end of May, so I am excited about that. For those of you who haven't yet, its www.active.com/donate/tntmi/karibeth

Tomorrow I am running the Borgess 1/2 Marathon, which will be my second race ever, my first being the Campus Classic in the fall. I think it will be a good opportunity to gauge my progress and figure out how much work I need to do before the big June 18 rolls around. I know that May will fly right by and I will be in Alaska before I know it.

I am looking forward to friends coming home, and I am going to try and squeeze as much out of the summer as possible. I feel like this fall is the beginning of the rest of my life, and while I am excited, I am frightened that with that new experience, I will be shutting other doors and walking away from them forever. I hope that this is not the case, but with living comes sacrifice.

Love you all.

Here I am, back in the LJ saddle again to inform you all that I am alive and well. I realize that I use this much less as an emotional outlet (I'm much less open emotionally than I realized) than as a update letter to friends. I like thinking of it has correspondence because it makes me feel close to those of you that I adore but never or rarely see. I like feeling like I'm just writing you each individually to let you know I'm OK and to keep you up-to-date because while my life is hardly interesting, I love knowing whats going on with each of you...so I try to offer you the same that you give me. Even if its much less regular.

I got back last Saturday from an awesome trip to Disney World with my marching band and colorguard. All of us chaperones/staff members got to know many of the kids better (28 hours on a bus will do that to you), and it was such a treat to just watch them be high schoolers. Sure, I laughed at them to myself a lot (I'm not gonna lie), but on the other side of the coin, their innocence and their hopes and dreams (which they readily and eagerly share) can be touching. I actually really enjoyed the drive, too. When I wasnt sleeping (which was LITERALLY about 23 or 24 of the 28 hrs down), I was enjoying see states I'd never seen before like Kentucky, Tennessee and Georgia. Frickin Waffle Houses EVERYWHERE. What's the deal? It was just great to have a vacation after 4 months of organizing three jobs and a life without school. Not as fun as it sounds, I promise. I'm anxious to jump back into academia.

2 exciting baby things. #1: I have another pregnant cousin! I know you guys probably don't care, but my cousins are brothers and sisters to me and my mind is just reeling that my family is growing so fast. #2: Amy, who I babysit for (Ellie's mom), had her baby on Wednesday! In her bedroom!! I was there most of the day as she was laboring to distract Ellie and help around the house while her husband timed contractions and took care of her, etc. We brainstormed about when to go to the hospital, but Ellie was a 23 hr labor and the contractions hadnt even been consistently under 5 minutes apart, lasting one minute, for a full hour yet(which is the standard to indicate going to the hospital). I left at about 7:45pm and Christopher Eric was born at 8:22pm with firefighters and medics delivering! Amy is the perfect person for that to happen to, though. I went and saw them the next morning at the hospital and cried when I held him (he looks just like Amy!). It is more mind-boggling than I can explain to have been able to see some of the inimate moments involved in bringing life into the world, especially to people I love so much. It's intense, man. But completely awesome.

Oh, other awesome things. Got to go to 2 shows this past week. #1: Tourgasm comedy show featuring Dane Cook. Hilarious. Funnier than when I saw his show last year. The other comics were really talented too, especially the guy from "Last Comic Standing." They were either taping it for a DVD or TV special so keep your eye out. #2: Maroon 5. I adore their CD and they played all my favorite songs and they put on an awesome live show and it was just the greatest thing ever. I was into every second of it. Highly highly recommended. I wanted to follow them all over the country afterwards.

The marathon training and fundraising is going really well. I ran 12 today which was very intense and I dont really want to talk about it except to say that it really, really challenged me. The fundraising has been amazing. I have $913 left to raise by May 31, which is awesome when I think about the daunting $4500 I commited to 4 months ago! So its time to kick it into high gear and finish strong. Remember: www.active.com/donate/tntmi/karibeth. The best cause ever of your life. Oh, and I'd like to have a blood cancer victim/survivor assigned to each of the 26 miles, so if you know anyone who has or had leukemia, lymphoma, myeloma, or Hodgkins Disease, please let me know. I would LOVE to run for them. The stories are what inspire me the most.

If you actually read all of this, you deserve a treat. Love you all.

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy
And we must get out

My sleep schedule is way off since I worked last night and slept during the day today, so here I am. Things are good, my days are full. I honestly never realized how much I cant stand sitting still and not having a list, a plan, things to cross off.

Marathon training is going great, but I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor because my various body systems are going a little crazy. The fundraising is right on schedule, but I'm getting nervous because now that most my letters are out, I'm really going to need a strong response and its hard not to worry about not getting one. Ms. Cobb, my 8th grade english ("language arts") teacher donated. Very cute. Even though middle school blew big time. Am I right? Am I right?

The best part has been how excited Louise is that I am running in her honor. She cried when she got her letter about it, and now Grampa is really excited too and keeps telling Louise "we have to get her there, she's got to make this money and run this race!" I love them so much, and I know I don't tell them enough. I just brush it off because I cant really truly think about her cancer or it will make me crazy wondering if/when we would ever lose her to it. I told Codi I was pissed at her for being my friend because she brings her whole family on board and makes me love them all as if they were my own. Louise has this great quote that "friends are the family we choose for ourselves." Its so true, because my friends are family to me, my friends' families are family. Its the best feeling in the world.

Dieneke and I are in the middle of our housing search for the fall. Ann Arbor = flipping expensive. But the change of town and scenery will be a really new experience for me. A whole new adventure.

 I can't wait to run this marathon because I will be crossing the first thing off my lifetime goals list. Here are a few more things that are on there: Live in a foreign country, Open a flower shop, Go on a medical mission to Africa (Maureen = doing the coolest thing EVER),Write a book, Get a dog from a shelter, Become a doctor. (Among many more).

 P.S: I love reading all your entries. I smile all the time reading them and wish I could be sharing in many of your lives and experiencing things with you that you do so often that I've never done before. I care deeply and laugh loudly at so much of what I read of all of you and I just want you ALL to know that I think of each and every one of you every day. No matter how long its been since I've seen you or talked to you. You have brought something to my life and I love you for that.

And before I fall asleep I think: so this is what its like to reach for the stars.